


I'd wait for life

by SheenaWilde



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8181640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheenaWilde/pseuds/SheenaWilde
Summary: As he headed to the bar, Robbie watched the guests – small town people, dressed up nicely, having a night out, some older couples, too. The place was far from being full but it wasn’t a bad night, either. Robbie sat down on a stool, ordered the first non-alcoholic thing he could think of, and finally turned his attention towards the pianist.Gary didn’t change much since he had last seen him – his style certainly didn’t. He was singing along to some old romantic melody, something that was nice to listen to on a calm Saturday night while having a dinner, but nothing extraordinary. Still, he was doing it with such concentration and passion, Robbie couldn’t help but smile faintly. He took a sip of his drink and made a face – some ginger ale wasn’t going to give him the courage he needed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Take That Song Challenge 2016.
> 
> It's set in an AU where Take That as a boyband doesn't exist, but as a group of friends. Robbie gets famous independently from the others, and this is partly what causes their argument.

The restaurant Robbie was standing in front of was nothing special. It was just another cozy place in a small town where people could have a nice dinner every once in a while, but nothing extraordinary. Nothing like the places he was used to, and definitely not a place he would ever consider performing in. He let out a shaky breath, gathered all the courage he had, and stepped in.

It looked better inside. There was a small reception area at the entrance, but otherwise it seemed to be one room. Most of it was occupied by tables, the bar was to the far right, and a small stage with a piano across from him. The room was dimly lit for a romantic effect, candles burned on every table, and a deep red color dominated the room, with the heavy curtains and elegant flowery wallpaper. As he headed to the bar, Robbie watched the guests – small town people, dressed up nicely, having a night out, some older couples, too. The place was far from being full but it wasn’t a bad night, either. Robbie sat down on a stool, ordered the first non-alcoholic thing he could think of, and finally turned his attention towards the pianist.

Gary didn’t change much since he had last seen him – his style certainly didn’t. He was singing along to some old romantic melody, something that was nice to listen to on a calm Saturday night while having a dinner, but nothing extraordinary. Still, he was doing it with such concentration and passion, Robbie couldn’t help but smile faintly. He took a sip of his drink and made a face – some ginger ale wasn’t going to give him the courage he needed.

It was going to be the first time in ten years since they had last spoken, since they’d had their fight. Robbie had left then, angered and hurt, and never looked back. Or at least he was telling himself that, but his every second thought was about Gary, about that stupid fight and how he had messed it all up.

He had pretty much messed up the whole gang, too. It used to be the five of them, always the five of them, ever since high school. All of them loved music, that was one thing that bound them together. Gary had already been working – performing in restaurants, bars or pubs, and sometimes he was invited to family celebrations, too. Robbie could never understand that, cause sure, he too wanted to get paid for singing, but it wasn’t work for him. He wanted to sing his own songs, and more importantly, he wanted his audience to want him, not someone else’s songs sung by him. He used to joke about Gary’s strict schedule, small friendly jests about how he was no different than all those people going to work every morning.

They were close, too, the two of them. It was more than friendship, on both of their parts, Robbie knew that. But they were both young, afraid of each other’s feelings and their own as well, so nothing ever happened, besides longing looks and intimate moments. The others noticed it, but said nothing. It was only Mark who sometimes tried to persuade Robbie to act, to say something to Gary. But he was too afraid to believe that it could turn out well, and justified it that if Gary felt the same, then he would’ve done something.

They’d had that stupid argument after he’s finished high school, when his own career started taking off. He had gone to a couple of rehearsals, and one manager had become interested – then he’d started receiving invites to perform, in popular clubs and on TV even, with his own songs. Robbie couldn’t recall what he had said to Gary, that whole evening blurred together into a mess of angry shouts and petty insults, but he knew he had brought up his musical career just to rub his own success in Gary’s face. He’d been close to have Gary punch him, that was sure. But in the end, he had left before it had come to that, and that was it. He had gone on to pursue his own career, moved to America, and only kept in touch with Mark. They avoided talking about Gary most of the time in light of what happened, and Robbie tried to forget all that he felt, all that could have happened, he could have had. Only through drunken haze had he ever mentioned Gary, how he loved and missed him, but then he tried to forget about it the next day.

Except he couldn’t. It was only after his last girlfriend, who he’d had for years and was pretty much his only real relationship ever, that he, completely soberly for the first time, had confessed to Mark about still loving Gary.

Mark, ever understanding Mark, smiled at him softly and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe it’s time to talk to him, then. It’s been more than ten years, you’ve both grown up. Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose."

He was right, of course, Mark was always right. He gave Gary’s schedule to Robbie and also made a suggestion for which nights were the best.

It took him two weeks of nervousness and talking to Mark on the phone to get himself to buy the tickets to England and book a room in a hotel in Manchester. And that was it. Now he was watching Gary play from across the room, with his blood rushing through his veins, and trying to gather his courage to go to him when he had a break.

It was another song later when he stood up and finally walked over to the piano, timing to get there just when Gary finished the song. As he stopped beside him, Gary looked up, surprised at someone’s arrival. He looked confused for a moment, then his eyes glazed over with recognition and the memories flooding back before they became focused and sharp again, and he turned his head away.

“Hey, Gaz” Robbie said softly, trying to keep himself from visibly fidgeting.

“What do you want?” Gary’s voice was sharp and muffled, and he kept his eyes strictly on the piano in front of him.

“I… came to see you” Robbie answered, nervous as his earlier worry was justified. People don’t forget fights the like of theirs easily.

“Great. You did, you saw me. We don’t have to talk” he stated and stood up, walking to the other end of the piano where some spare sheets were – copies of songs he didn’t necessarily wanted to play tonight, but brought anyway. Now he started to browse them, something to keep him occupied, so he wasn’t forced to look at Robbie.

“Gary, I came here only for that. Please…” he pleaded, going after him, and stopped close beside him, so they could talk silently. He wasn’t keen on letting people hear them.

“No. We have a fight like that, you walk out on me, leave the fucking country…” Gary said, emotion filling his voice, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. So he took a deep breath before he continued, his eyes still on the papers he was browsing. “I have a life now that doesn’t involve you. Let it stay that way.”

“Gaz, please, I know what I did wrong, just let’s talk for a minute…”

“No. Now leave me be, Rob. People will recognize you” Gary said, not looking up from his sheets.

“Why would you care?” Robbie asked, quite irritated and hopeless at this point that Gary wouldn’t even listen.

“Oh, I don’t. Wouldn’t want to steal the spotlight from you, is all” Gary hissed with a mocking edge to his voice.

Robbie was speechless for a few moments, gaping at him, shocked to hear his own words thrown back at him after so much time.

“Gaz, it’s been ten years…” he said in his defense after he finally managed to find his voice.

“Twelve” Gary corrected immediately, a painful expression appearing on his face for a moment before he could force his neutral expression back. He finally grabbed a sheet and turned left to go back to the piano, and towards Rob who was blocking his way. “Now would you mind? I’ve got work to do.”

Rob sighed in frustration at that but stepped out of Gary’s way, walking back to the bar, and collapsed on a stool. Oh, how he wished he could have something strong to drink right now. But because he couldn’t kill his pain with alcohol, he decided to kill it with sugar and ordered a coke. Better than nothing, he thought to himself bitterly.

There was silence for a few minutes, only the clinking of cutlery and silent conversations could be heard, before Robbie heard Gary’s voice again.

“Good evening, ladies and gentleman. The next song I’m going to play is a bit different. I wrote this a few years ago and it’s very dear to me. I hope you will enjoy it.”

This made Robbie peek up in interest and turn around on the stool to watch Gary starting to play. The melody was bittersweet from the start, he noted to himself, and when Gary started to sing, his voice and words were full of emotion, of feelings he hid just now.

“ _There's a place we used to be, there's a face that I used to see. There's a picture with you by my side, there's a moment that I want to find…_ ”

Robbie’s heart throbbed painfully at hearing those words. He couldn’t blame Gary for not wanting to talk to him just now – he didn’t have the right to simply waltz back into his life at a whim, without any warning, and he couldn’t expect him to forgive him at first, either. If their situations were reversed, well, maybe he would never want to see Gary again. It wasn’t Gary’s fault but all his. He made sure that he would not be welcomed back easily.

“ _I don't know where to start or how to begin, but I know I love you still…_ ”

Robbie swore he couldn’t breathe for the next few moments, nor could he take his eyes off Gary now. He had closed his eyes by now, only focusing on playing and singing. He was beautiful and handsome, and Robbie’s heart broke as he watched the pained expression on his face as the words came out.

“ _If there's something in your heart that tells you to stop… Oh to hold you close tonight, I'd wait for life…_ ”

Robbie closed his eyes at that, feeling all the shame that was haunting him for the past twelve years at once. Gary had never stopped loving him, just as he hadn’t either, but he was close to giving up on him. He was wary of him – and that was fair of him, Robbie thought. He wouldn’t trust himself, either, after disappearing for such a long time, then suddenly reappearing. But time had changed him, and he grew up. He wanted to make things right between himself and Gary, and- Yes, maybe he’d hoped they could be together, that Gary would still give him a chance… But he would’ve taken friendship happily. He just wanted Gary back in his life.

“ _If I close my eyes, I'll dream a little deeper baby, cause you are always on my mind… Yeah you are always on my mind… For life._ ”

Oh, how true that was. Waking up in a hotel beside some girl from the party of the night before, and still thinking of the stupid things he had said to Gary a week before. Singing before millions of people live for the first time, then going home and thinking if Gary would have liked his performance that night. If he had actually seen it. Getting drunk or (maybe, and) getting high, then fleeing to the bathroom or anywhere he could be alone, because those thoughts about Gary might just be loud enough that he was actually saying them. Phoning Mark in the middle of the night and pouring his heart out to him, sobbing until he fell asleep… Sometimes it was all too much, all these thoughts about Gary, about what could have been…

Even when he had a girlfriend, the most beautiful and amazing woman he could ever imagine, he still thought how it would be if he was moving in with Gary, if it was Gary he was waking up next to every morning. When he realized there was no way he could ever forget Gary, when his girlfriend broke up with him because she felt something wasn’t quite alright, he knew he needed to act, or this would eat him up completely.

The song was nearing the end, Gary played a beautiful part on the piano after the last chorus. Robbie closed his eyes again, listening to the music. Even if not tonight, but he would talk to Gary again, at a more appropriate time, and make him listen. He just needed another chance, a chance to explain himself, a chance at friendship. That was all he wanted.

“ _I’d wait for life…_ ” Gary sang the last line, his voice shaking with what could only be tears held back, Robbie realized. But Gary kept himself composed, playing those last few notes, then let silence settle in the room. He lowered his head, the dim lighting of the room hiding his expression from Robbie, but then he leaned to the mic again. “Please, excuse me for a few moments” he said quickly, then stood up and hurried out of the room, out to the street.

This surprised Robbie, but he quickly put some money on the counter, probably a lot more than he should have, but he couldn’t care less now. The bartender would have a great night at the least. But he had to find Gary quickly, so he chased after him, out to the street. In the light of the streetlamp, he looked around and saw Gary standing in the dark, his face buried in his hand as he was crying as silently as he could. Robbie’s heart sent another wave of pain through his body, and he ran to Gary, wrapping his arms around him in a hug instinctively.

Gary looked up briefly, realized who it was, then leaned in Robbie’s arms and buried his face to Rob’s shoulder, continuing to sob. Robbie held him tightly, protectively, and rested his head on top of Gary’s. He could feel his scent, familiar and foreign at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Gaz, I’m so sorry… I didn’t want to- I didn’t mean all those things I said back then” Robbie whispered, finally telling Gary everything he needed to. “I was horrible and selfish, I had no right to tell you all those things… And I know I shouldn’t have just come back so suddenly, but I really couldn’t wait any longer… Gaz, I’m sorry, I- I should’ve come sooner, or not at all… Please, don’t cry, please…”

Robbie stopped speaking because he could only repeat himself, but held Gary while shook with crying, and Gary clung to him until he calmed down. He wiped his tears from his face with a hand, the other still clutching at Robbie’s shirt. After a few moments, he glanced up at Robbie briefly, quickly turning his gaze away again, but he never made a move to pull away.

“I… I didn’t expect to see you ever again” Gary confessed finally, his voice silent and raw from crying. “I thought you forgot all about me long ago.”

“Never, not for a minute” Robbie shook his head, rubbing a hand gently up and down on Gary’s arm. Then he nervously continued. “Is it… What that song was about- Do you still love me?”

“Yes” Gary breathed, still not making eye contact, but leaning his head against Robbie’s chest again instead. “I never thought that I would sing it to anyone, that you would hear it… I wrote it years ago when I couldn’t sleep one night, because I felt so utterly miserable and lonely… But it’s all true, it’s still true. I still love you.”

“I love you too, Gaz” Robbie said immediately, pulling back slightly to look at Gary’s face who also raised his head, looking back at him. It was dark, but the lamp gave off enough light that Rob could see Gary’s eyes, still red and puffed. Then he cupped Gary’s face, stroking his cheek with his thumb before he leaned forward to kiss him.

It was amazing. A chaste, innocent kiss, barely more than a touching of lips, but it was sweeter than any before. Robbie had been waiting for this kiss for years, for more than a decade, and now that he could finally experience it, it was perfect. He didn’t care if it was a cliché thought, it was still true. He wished this moment would last forever.

When they pulled away, Gary looked into his eyes, and he seemed so vulnerable that Rob’s heart almost broke. He hugged him close again, burying his face to his hair as he spoke.

“I grew up, Gary. I won’t hurt you again, I swear.”

“Good. I won’t hurt you, either” Gary whispered in response, easing into the other’s arms completely. They stood there like that for some time before he pulled away. “Come, let’s go back inside. I still have some work to do.”


End file.
